We've been together ever since. You just need to be HAPPY FOR HIM, any negativity towards him and his situation risks putting him down or even pushing him away. We always spend tym together talking n lovin Boyfriend spends too much time with his family. Relationships are one of the prime factors in life. Despite committing to you and telling you he loves you, the guy is showing you that youre not his number one person and that things will stay that way for as long as his mother is around. or situations/content involving minors. I know we were raised differently. You are his family too. We were so in love, but he chose his daughter over me. This might be the last with her. YjRhMDg2ZmE4MDZkZmQzNzc3YmZiMmFiMTUwZjBhM2I5MjY1NDZkZGU4Zjg1 But to let their mothers tell them what they can and cant dothats over the top. Worst of all in this decision my Gma has cancer and this might be her last Christmas. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Looks like they are codependent. Falling in love with someone who has children can be the greatest experience, but it can also come with obstacles. The thing that got me mad about my ex was that he chose his daughter over me. Thats why he lets his mother do what she wants and allows her to get inside his head and affect his relationship. Basically, I'm his mom's nightmare. Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! -----END REPORT-----. My boyfriend 27 and I 26 have been together for 3 years. An emotional letter by one such wife, who felt her husband failed her. A mother with overprotective tendencies usually doesnt have a lot going on in her life. Well could you reframe that to "maybe you are allowing her control you because you care about her?". I dont know what I did wrong. She is not alone in this, and neither am I.. So you proposing to her and her already living with you is only her means of 'escape'. The video's caption, "Covering my parents kitchen in peanut butter," shows a before shot of a normal-looking kitchen, only to have it cut to almost every square inch of the said kitchen . My partner has family out of town and most of mine have pasted. Unfortunately there is a very slim chance you will change this. It'snot a good future you two are going to have. NDg3YTE5NmU0MTAwMDc3OGU0OGFmYmNmYWFkZmViYjUwNWRhZjcxMzM3MGUx Need help with your relationship? My BIL married into this. Think he's perfect for me, love everything about him. Explain that he will eventually feel better getting more seperation from them, even if it feels weird at first. Im glad you agree with the post. My boyfriend spend the weekend with his ex. When you get through the dumpee stages, youll realize that your ex actually did you a favor. But don't blame the pooch. ITS ALL ABOUT MOM. My boyfriends daughter is always around, and its like she never leaves. You make everything more clear and easier to understand. Is this just the pressure of buying a house? I've made my decision to see my gma and relatives, and I guess my relationship will have to take the blow. Njk4MGFjZTRhMzJlYzkwNzVkNDAxNjU5M2IyMTNlYzY5NjVjYjFhMmZjNzE5 he is mexican & has a very large traditional family, meaning theyre always getting together in large groups for birthdays, holidays, everything. am i right for feeling this way? But I've come to accept that this is just the way it is, and her beliefs will never budge. He talks about them all the time, he takes care of his daughter on weekends, and now I feel like he doesnt want to be with me anymore. & with them being such a large group theres pretty much some sort of gathering every week that he wants to go to. But he can't disobey his parents and he still chooses them all the time instead of me because he thinks he has no choice and he is obligated to. OGMxYThkM2NmYzJmNTNkYzYzZjllMjUxYmJmMjkzYjc2ZTBjNjg0MDMzZTU2 The most important person in a mans life should be his wife, not his daughter. You cant make him choose you over his mom/family because you dont have that kind of power. NDBmYjZmMTcwYmJhODliYTkwYzk4YzU5NTMzMTA5OWY0M2IwM2NiNjc0OTY2 I want to spend time with him. This heart-touching letter captures the feelings of every wife, who has been ignored by her husband; whose husband chooses family over his wife. Weve been dating for six years, and thats how long weve known each other. The guy lacks the determination and strength to stand up for what he believes in and needs to fight for. People who meet each other on dating websites are notoriously fickle because there is such easy availability of other people. I know that being dumped sucks a lot as the breakup makes you feel lost, worthless, and weak, but try not to take your ex-partners abandonment personally. My boyfriend never chooses me over his family but he always says that I'm his top priority and he calls me his future wife. We learn the most from failure, which is why you cant expect a person wrapped in bubble wrap to grow much. I feel he should and that is not my duty to bring it up. Idk how thats to young to make decisions on your own life and lifestyle, they are just controlling manipulators. This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. RELATED: How To Get Him To Notice You (Over Someone Else), According To His Zodiac Sign. YzYwMGU2ZDQ3OTBlNzg0Y2U5ODMxYWU0ZjFmNDIwYWNlMWI5MDM0ZmE4OGI0 EVERY DAY!! New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. If he is prepared, you can give him some healthy suggestions on how to make you a priority and his mother someone he speaks with (not over-relies on). If you don't hit it off with their kids, or if their kids become jealous, it can make you question . She makes his breakfast and lunch everyday and sometimes dinner. Im not trying to compete for attention, but it seems like hes more interested in his daughter than me., It doesnt help that were having problems, which just makes things worse because when you argue, the first thing out of my mouth is always, why dont you spend time with your own kid instead? And every single time, he tells me that she needs him too because she has no one else right now.. I remember feeling completely guilty about her reaction. Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here). But that doesnt mean they should be allowed to direct our romantic lives. His family should be making room for you in their lives. I don't know what to do or how to react, I'm very bummed because he promised me and I love christmas eve and my family has always been extremely support of him, they have been there for him always, he has a strange relationship with her mother because she is very cold and doesn't take care of him, she doesn't cook or will drive him anywhere, she doesn't want to buy him a car and doesn't want to borrow her car to him, so when his at my home we always cook for him, we drive him and pick him up whenever he needs to, I'm a very good girlfriend to him and me and my family are always there for him, much more than his own family. Hes prioritizing her opinion and feelings over yours and doing what she wants him to do. ODMzMTU0MDAxMzkzYzQ4M2ZmNjU3NjhhNTY1ZmEzNDZmNjZiZWZkZjgyY2Zk But I feel disregarded all the time. if they don't they are treating you like you are just dating, you are not a serious partner to them. ), RELATED: The Completely Unscientific Way To Make Him Choose You Over Her. Like right this minite. Such a person will grow very little and have more issues to deal with later down the road when his mother finally stops spoiling/controlling him. It's give and take. Your boyfriend is basically letting his mother control him and making him seem incapable of maintaining his relationship on his own. Your best bet for the current situation is to tell him to go to this and make it up to you later. Things will continue to get worse and potentially if yall get married their opinions will interfere with your marriage. Its part of the culture to have the closeness with familyto the point for some of exclusivity. You could turn it into a positive, fair enough you won't see your boyfriend this christmas, but what about if you get married in the future? My boyfriend Boyfriend and I conflicted over how to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas together, Wont spend time with me, won't let me meet family. My husband doesnt spend money on me is that ok? Know that your boyfriend will have to cut the umbilical cord and create some healthy space between him and his mother. Parents can have a very influential effect on the relationship. MTU1MGQwZGViYTBlNjQwNDk2YjZkYzdmZWJiZTZmNzMyNTI2Zjc0YjAzNzEx I love my boyfriend vry much . So if your boyfriend chooses his mother over you, know that hes listening to her because hes scared of telling her to back off. Does your boyfriend choose his mother over you? If you can't compromisedon't be in a relationship period. I don't think he's ready to start a new family with me at all. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. & he just doesnt see it that way. This is not an all-inclusive list. What should I do? February 28, 2023. That will convey to your partner that the topic is serious and that hed better take you seriously and do something about it. My boyfriend and I met online and have been together a little over a month. NmM5ZjBhNTI5NjdiZTRjOWRmNzRmMDVhNzk3YzYzNGE1ZmZhMjEzZjdlMTBl what should i do? Its time to take care of my needs and think about myself. M2QwOGMyOGJiMGU2NTVjNzY5YzczZTA2NDBmYWQzNDg1Mjk5ODhkZTM1ZDc2 So my boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years and we have had our ups and downs through the time weve been together for different reasons but most of our arguments come from him choosing his friends over me. Well discuss why he chooses his mom, what his mom is doing to the relationship, and what you should do about it. Fathers day. Totally agree when you said relationships are hard enough with just two people. She needs to come tolerate your family, just like you need to tolerate hers once in a while. ZmMzZDYxY2RlMDllMWYyNmQ3N2MxNWM3NjVjYWU1ZmNlYzkwYTNmNDc3Yjc4 Krieszta Follow Xper 4 Age: 32 We are together fo almost two years. Our website services, content and products are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Imagine a third person meddling with their business. You are learning this now. same, I dont have family to spend the holidays with. N2ZjNWZjNjI3NWE1ZDE5MjE1MGJiMGI2MGMyYTE2MWE1NGUyMGFiZjllMjUw Last yr, she came on a train, "3 hrs", and spent Xmas and boxing day with me, and didn't even see her daughter, husband, and granddaughter on those days, but this yr, she's on the train and spending Xmas and boxing day with them. He cares more about what the family feels when there's a way to make everyone happyby including you. Try to have an open and understanding conversation with your daughter. MGM0ZDU4NWU1NjhjZjRmMzZjODVlZjU2ZWQ2ZmUzOWI1Njg2ZjU2ZmMzNzhh We may be close because of our daughter, but its hard when she is not around because then all his attention goes back on her again and ignores me completely. Anyway, if he chooses his mother over you every time his mother needs his help or attention, its evident that the guy doesnt understand his role in the relationship. The relationship couldnt withstand so much of his mothers presence and the effect she had on your boyfriend. In 2014, I met a guy. Before that, you should try talking about his codependency and whether hes prepared to take back control of his life. This is not an all-inclusive list. She is already having problems that obviously she is not ready for. And what is required of him is to put his romantic relationships above people who try to meddle with them. The daughter even sent me a message asking if i wanted to join for lunch Xmas day, but despite this, my partner said, "last yr i didn't even see my family for Xmas, and i only see them once every few months, and i spend lots of time with you every week and just want an Xmas day with just them. Sounds like an enmeshed family, and I know because I came from one. They tell her when they will be at her house if she is lucky. He doesnt love me enough because if he did, he would make more time for myself instead of spending all day doing work stuff or going out with friends or living life without thinking about us at home. Every decision he makes has to be approved by his family. I asked if the other guys bring their girlfriends and wives and he said "not usually". I'm scared that in the future, his family will still make decisions for him. Yes it will continue hes 3 years shy of 30 and still needs mommy and daddy to tell him what to do! Im only reaching out because, in the end, we are still family. When he told his mom he met a girl and was pretty serious about her, she flipped. 226K views, 329 likes, 168 loves, 7 comments, 11 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from My Story Animated MSA: I deserve love as much as anyone else does! Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. YjY5OTdmZjFiZWNmZjA2MDU4OGU2NzZkYWJkYjlkZjQ1ZTcyNjg5ZTAyZDIy Why Does My Ex-boyfriend Still Want To Sleep With Me? If your boyfriend chooses his mother over you, your boyfriend isnt just agreeing with his mother and listening to her advice.
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